Relationships of convenience: shallow friendships that come out of seeing someone around often; the type of friendship you would never inconvenience yourself to maintain.
I have a theory. The major difference between relationships in high school and university is the number of “relationships of convenience” that we keep. In high school, we spend lots of time with the same people. The result is an accumulation of lots of “friends” who aren’t really our friends (let’s be honest). In university, circumstances change. There is less class, we might be commuting to school, and people are generally busier with life. It’s harder to see people regularly, so we end up with fewer and deeper friendships.
It’s tough to overcome the transition. A lot of people (myself included) have found themselves facing the brick wall of loneliness in the first few months of school. Since I transferred to Glendon from Keele this year, I found myself starting from the ground up once more, as I was finding my place in a new school community.
Finding friends in unfamiliar situations is a daunting task, but it is conquerable!
I’ve learned that I need to be intentional. Relationships die when they’re neglected, but flourish when we take risks, give our time to others, and put our hearts on the line. It can be uncomfortable, but it’s worth it.
I thought some of my closest friends might have something useful to say on the subject of relationships and intentionality, so I asked them what they’ve learned about relationships in their second year of university.
“Time just flies by and university can be really overwhelming. It’s really easy to shove making friends by the wayside, so it’s important to make time for socializing the same way you would for going to the gym and finishing your readings.”
“If you want friends or acquaintances in university, you can’t be afraid of being judged or always think about what other people think about you. Don’t be afraid to initiate contact with people!”
“What’s useful is thinking more about the other person as opposed to you. ‘I’d really like to talk to them,’ instead of ‘what are they going to think of me?’”
What are your thoughts on friendships and relationships?